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The best sci-fi trailers of 2008—for movies that totally sucked.
We know that the best part of going to the movies is seeing the trailers, those dazzling advertisements designed to sell you on a movie in 90 seconds. Heck, studios have caught on: You can even see trailers for trailers these days.
We also know that trailers are sometimes more entertaining than the movie you actually paid to see. And, as we have discovered to our dismay, the trailers are often better than the very movies they're trying to sell.
A tightly edited, flashy selection of a movie's best moments--accompanied by an edgy, pulse-pounding score--can mask a movie's true horribleness. Following are our picks for the best 2008 trailers for movies that sucked.
1. In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale. Director Uwe Boll should consider letting the guy who cut this trailer cut his next movie. And maybe direct it, too. At this point, most sci-fi fans are aware that the mere inclusion of the name Uwe Boll on a project is like a "guaranteed stinker" stamp. If you judged the film by its trailer, you'd think otherwise.
2. Jumper. The concept is undeniably cool: whisk away to any place at any time and be back home in time for supper. The trailer smartly highlighted this dream scenario, focusing on the abilities of Jumpers rather than on the well-worn plot about an age-old war between good and evil. The teaser worked well enough to persuade moviegoers to plunk down their cash for this stinker, enough so that director Doug Liman and his producers are contemplating a sequel. So who's going to break the news to Fox that no one actually liked the movie?
3. 10,000 B.C. Overblown digital effects can be masked in a flashy trailer full of quick "did I just see that?" cuts. The first sign that 10,000 B.C. would be lousy: the fact that it looked better when you saw less of it. The teaser trailer is awesome, revealing just enough to whet your appetite for the truly terrible 109 minutes that multiple critics have called the worst movie they'd ever seen. (Director Roland Emmerich's next, 2012, is already being touted by a similarly tantalizing teaser trailer. Viewer beware.)
4. Speed Racer. Trailers elevated interest in the Wachowski brothers' Speed Racer from morbid curiosity to full-on anticipation. Bright, colorful and action-packed, this was the classic cartoon come to life in live-action form, and it looked like nothing we'd ever seen before. Sadly, those same elements were the exact reason the movie was so excruciating to sit through. Watching toy race cars speed by in a blur of retina-burning colors and revving engines may work well enough for 90 seconds, but the Wachowskis exhaust the concept about 15 minutes into their two hour and 15 minute extravaganza.
5. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Seriously, was there any way a fourth Indiana Jones movie was going to live up to the hype and anticipation built up over 19 years? Still, Spielberg and company were smart to leave space aliens out of the trailer. Instead, they focused on the easy marks: Harrison Ford, the hat and the beloved John Williams score. It also helped that Ford didn't look quite as old in the gear as many expected. Fanboys hearts went aflutter, momentarily able to block out producer George Lucas' Star Wars prequels and hold faith that director Steven Spielberg could deliver. Something tells me both used up whatever was left of their fanboy goodwill just about the time the movie's third-act spaceship zoomed into another dimension.
6.) The Happening. The cat was already out of the bag on M. Night Shyamalan's uni-dimensional directorial abilities (anyone see Lady in the Water?), but Night's been able to cash in a few more "get out of jail free" cars on the goodwill from The Sixth Sense. The trailer for his latest sci-fi horror opus intrigued with its spooky scenario and compelling images: bodies falling from a rooftop, streets full of frozen bodies. And who doesn't like Mark Wahlberg? (Say hi to your mother for me!) In the end, The Happening was exactly what skeptics predicted: Another paper-thin concept wrapped in a half-baked script.
7.) The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. Brendan Fraser, you've burned us for the last time! Again and again, we get taken in by your lovable smile and nice-guy attitude, only to have you literally steal our hard-earned moviegoing cash. Well, this was the last time! And Rob Cohen? Didn't you learn your lesson after Stealth? Both of you should check if Rachel Weisz's agent is seeking new clients. Somehow, Mummy sequels keep getting made, each worse than its predecessor, which wasn't that good to begin with. Condensed to two minutes, this third installment's trailer features big action, cool effects and plenty of Jet Li acrobatics. But two minutes is about all of the worthwhile material the entire film had to offer.
8.) The X-Files: I Want to Believe. This was supposed to be the X-Files movie the fans were waiting for. A decade since the first movie and six years after the series ended, creator Chris Carter was finally stepping back into the director's chair, Mulder and Scully were FINALLY getting back together, and all signs pointed to a media blitz from Fox. Instead, the studio apparently spent the bulk of its lackluster marketing campaign on a few mysterious, cool trailers carefully constructed to conceal as much of the lame, meandering plot and mopey character moments as possible.
9.) Mirrors. Boy oh boy, talk about blowing all your money shots in the trailer. Yes, the jaw separation scene is unique and completely unsettling. In fact, it makes watching the full movie far less compelling, since you know Amy Smart's character is going to get it eventually anyway. But that's far from the only problem with this incredibly hokey slasher flick. Kiefer Sutherland is either incapable of playing anything other than Jack Bauer at this point, or that's the angle overrated director Alexandre Aja told him to take with the character. Either way, Mirrors looked like a horror movie in the trailer, but played more like a comedy. An unintentional comedy.
By Christopher Gabbert at 3:06 PM ON 01/05/09
Can't argue with this list.
By Chris at 4:03 PM ON 01/05/09
these trailers are cool
By red at 4:23 PM ON 01/05/09
Indie - how you failed us.
By clevans at 4:50 PM ON 01/05/09
Man, that Dungeon Siege trailer is awesome. Even knowing how bad the movie is, I want to see it after watching that. Whoever made that thing is a genius.
By Movie guy at 6:21 PM ON 01/05/09
Ok, i am only going to comment on he dungeon Siege trailer. First, That movie just in the trailer looks like a scifi channel movie. Most movies that look like that for example Eregon, D and D, the movie all were utter failures already by the way the trailer sucked. Seriously if you look at them you can tell by the quality of the film. not one hundred percent sure why it looks like that but i just does.
By Christopher Gabbert at 7:51 PM ON 01/05/09
"The Happening"... what's next? "The Love-In" ?
By lfhlaw at 8:08 PM ON 01/05/09
Indie was going well, until i saw the spaceship, then i was like wtf are they doing? this is so.... bizarre.
Granted the Apparitions at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark could be like that. But at least i think people can comprehend and allow for ghostly apparitions.
Can't argue that list: However, as an X-files fan, I actually enjoyed the X-files 2 movie, albeit, it's more like a 2 hr TV movie, and yeah it does plod a little but as a fan, it was nice to seem the 2 agents back. However, now I don't see Fox Greenlighting a third film thank god.
The rest of the movies listed sound like they blew chunks as I didn't see them just based on trailers lol. When i saw speed racer trailer i was like ...man they screwed that up. The 10,000 BC trailer I was like....what is this movie about? It just looked plain dumb to me. And I haven't even seen any M. Night's Movies since Unbreakable. As long as people keep paying for bad movies, they will be made.
Hopefully studios greenlight less movies, but then Uwe Boll gotta eat right? lol
By DarkHawke at 11:46 PM ON 01/05/09
Well, my experience with Speed Racer was hard-about from Mr. Otto's. The first trailers sucked serious wind, but they gradually improved, and when I finally saw the movie, I was COMPLETELY blown away. TDK was the best movie of last summer, but it remains nip and tuck between Speed Racer and Iron Man for the close-second spot. If you're looking for sheer adrenalin-charged family movie fun, Speed Racer takes the checkered flag!
By sparrrownightmare at 11:00 AM ON 01/06/09
They forgot The Day The Earth Stood Still..... Which should have been the number one.
By blue at 12:52 PM ON 01/06/09
Could not agree more with lfhlaw...Indy and a spaceship? puh-leeze.
By MysteryGirl at 2:38 PM ON 01/06/09
I'm ready to be slammed for saying this, but I enjoyed the new Mummy movie and Speed Racer more than I enjoyed The Dark Knight. I didn't think I would like Speed Racer, but at my husband's insistence we watched and it and viewed as a live action cartoon it was an absolute ball. As for the Mummy, well, none of them were great. They were fun. Which is all one can ask for in some things.
I completely agree with 10,000 BC. Thank God for netflix so all I wasted was a spot on my queue where something better might have gone. Stupid trailer making me waste 15 minutes of my life. That's how far we got into it before turning it off and watching Futurama reruns instead.
By Zorro 6 at 6:11 PM ON 01/06/09
Ummmm, so... granted Indy 4 was nothing spectacular, but I'm puzzled by the "anti-alien" crowd. Somehow, having all the bizarre religious themed stuff in the first three is easy to swallow, (The Ark, grabbing hearts out of chests, immortal knights and a magic cup) but extra-terrestrials from another dimension are not?
Only Raiders is a true classic. The rest are just passing fun, IMHO.
By drJones at 6:39 PM ON 01/06/09
Hey, anybody has played with the PC game Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis? It appeared years before the Indy4 movie, and there were aliens in it. Plus, in the Indy4 trailer (well, not in this version) you can clearly see "Roswell, New Mexico" written on a chest. And it is not the 30's anymore, but the 50's. So, really, what did you expect?
By nghtlfe at 9:20 AM ON 01/07/09
Don't let the critics fool you. See Speed Racer with your own eyes then make a decision. It was incredibly enjoyable. A movie for the entire family, with consistent, believable, performances by all leads. The movie had action, excitement, and heart. It was in my top ten of the year.
By doublehelix68 at 8:00 PM ON 01/07/09
Agree with just about all on the list, except Indy.
Seriously, he can fight the Nazis with a box that talks to god but can't fight the Russians over an alien space craft?
If your going to suspend your disbelief for one but not the other.
Communism and aliens, both real fears in the space race we called the 1950's. What else was an aging Indy gonna fight?
By RatzMilk at 4:24 PM ON 01/08/09
Speed Racer is a childrens movie, an adaption of a 60's cartoon, made to be enjoyed by children. It was not made to entertain cynical (prozac swallowing) adults. Ask any 10 year old what they thought of Speed Racer and if it should be included on this list. For future reference, the Teletubbies movie will not be a Sci-Fi thriller for adults to enjoy either.
By Antares at 8:15 PM ON 01/08/09
I couldn't disagree more on some of the statements.
Speed Racer actually turned out to be much better than it's trailer made it seem.
The Happening was a great movie.
The Jumper was also very good and way underrated.
10,000 BC was fun and entertaining.
The Mummy: Tomb of The Dragon Emperor was "ok" but definitely not a bad movie.
Indy 4 gets too much negative criticism...it was still pretty good (3rd best of the 4 films).
Now, X-Files did put me to sleep (literally)
By Christopher Gabbert at 5:29 PM ON 01/09/09
No, it'll be "M. Night Shyamalan's 'What a Twist!'".
By indyJonas at 9:58 AM ON 01/12/09
What is it with people and Indy 4? I loved that movie! I went into the theater expecting fun, action and adventure, and that's just what I got. And am I the only one to find it ironic that people complain about there being aliens in the movie? On this site? I, for one, loved that twist to the story.
By Dennis at 8:39 PM ON 01/28/09
Idie and a spaceship! Yes. After everything else, it is at least ORIGINAL. I liked it. I was hoping to see a 70 year old Henry Jones III on Warehouse 13.... oh well.
By SilverEye at 5:12 AM ON 01/31/09
Indie was a joke, so manny misteries in earth, bermuda triangle, egypt, secret societies..the list goes on and on.. and they had to choose aliens! Geezzz... other thing that i really enjoyed (not) was, "look, an atomic bomb, let me hide in the fridge, fly for 450000 miles and then just get up with out a scratch ( not even comment that the guy should die..) if i was 6 years old, i would love it.. but im not..
By Sam1 at 9:01 AM ON 06/08/09
RatzMilk wrote: "Speed Racer is a childrens movie, an adaption of a 60's cartoon, made to be enjoyed by children. It was not made to entertain cynical (prozac swallowing) adults. Ask any 10 year old what they thought of Speed Racer and if it should be included on this list. For future reference, the Teletubbies movie will not be a Sci-Fi thriller for adults to enjoy either."
Yeah, feed your kids with messages about violence for an ...even better world!
IF there will be any world left for them to enjoy!
I personally have stopped watching movies that doesn't have anything special to tell me.
All movies with pistols on the posters of the genre shout-em-up, kill-them-all, blow-them-up, crime / horror etc are all totally JUNK!
This kind of "movies" will keep your brain undeveloped, chaotic, un-capable of solid thinking, uncapable or realizing the world you live and react properly.
Choose carefully the movies you're going to invest 2 hours or more, while you're getting yourself metally exposed to their messages.
The movie might not be real, but your brain absorbs everything anyway.
I personally only watch movies that have something special to tell me. Only these movies are worth watching for me.
I reject any crime / horror movies beforehand..
Visit mobile.syfy.com/wire on your mobile device.
Sam1:
RatzMilk wrote: "Speed Racer is a childrens movie, an adaption of a 60's cartoon, made to be enjoyed by children. I...More »