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The Day the Earth Made No Damn Sense

The Day the Earth Made No Damn Sense

In psychology, "pronoia" is the irrational belief that people or agencies or governments love you, agree with you, and are conspiring to help you. It's the mirror image of paranoia, and it shares some symptoms in common with both "hysterical personality" and narcissism. There isn't really a word for its Hollywood equivalent, but the symptoms include a belief (usually based on little or no evidence) that you know better than your audience, your technical advisors, your continuity editors and, in the case of book and comic adaptations and movie remakes, the authors of the original source material. This is a huge leap of faith under the best of circumstances, and when it involves tampering with key elements of a beloved classic simply because you have a different point you'd like to make, well, it really should be ranked among the most serious personality disorders. I suggest we call the condition "autonomorphilia," or love of unconsulted change. There's an even more appropriate word for it, but SCI FI won't let me use it in print!

The Day the Earth Made No Damn Sense

Alternatively, we could call it "Derrickson's Disease," after the relative newcomer who directed the remake of The Day The Earth Stood Still, from a screenplay written by David Scarpa, whose only other credit is the 2001 flop The Last Castle. The original movie had an alien emissary travel to Earth to warn us that if we spread our civilization into outer space, as we seemed about to do, our warlike ways would not be tolerated and our planet would be destroyed to preserve the galactic peace. In addition to a technological overhaul and a world-class special effects budget, the new version has a different message as well: The Earth is one of the galaxy's mere handful of habitable worlds, and if we persist in messing it up we will be removed permanently from its ecosystem by cosmic gardeners appointed to look after it.

"It is our planet," the U.S. secretary of defense observes, to which the newly human-shaped Klaatu replies, "No, it is not." This isn't exactly scintillating dialogue, and even the original film's most famous line, "Klaatu barada nikto," has been elided from the remake.

This is all a bit preachy, yes, but then again so was the original. Jennifer Connelly's character actually has the nerve to claim that our elected officials are "not our real leaders," whereas a single reclusive scientist in upstate New York is somehow authorized to speak for the entire human race. True, he did win a Nobel prize (for either peace or medicine—it's not clear which), but those are administered by self-appointed committees and handed out by a hereditary monarch, all in a country (Sweden) holding barely 0.14% of the Earth's population. Talk about intellectual elitism! Still, in the context of trying to save our species from total annihilation, we can forgive both her deception and her impertinence. Yes, it's believable she would try to make this claim, and maybe even that the naïve Klaatu would buy into it.

And although human astronomy has not yet caught up with his assertions, Klaatu is probably right about habitable planets being rare. The so-called Drake equation defines the number of habitable worlds as R* x fp x ne x fs, where R* is the average rate of star formation in our galaxy, fp is the fraction of those stars that have planets, ne is the average number of planets that can potentially support life, and fs is the fraction of those planets that actually go on to develop life at some point. Of these numbers, only the first is known with any accuracy at all, although over the past two decades, new planet-hunting techniques have yielded early estimates of the next two based on stellar wobble and transit measurements (i.e., the dimming of starlight reaching the Earth when a planet passes in front of its parent star).

Scientists are currently working on a new generation of telescopes that can directly measure the atmospheric composition of nearby Earthlike planets, so by 2020 or so we should have at least a rough idea whether life is rare or common in our corner of the galaxy. In their book Rare Earth, scientists Peter Ward and Donald Brownlee use the Drake equation, among other things, to argue that single-celled life is probably fairly common in the universe, while the precise conditions for complex, multicellular life may occur on only a tiny fraction of these worlds. So, yeah, the Earth probably is a rare gem. The problem I have with Derrickson's green-leaning remake is that human beings are absolutely not on a path to destroying the planet (as Klaatu boldly claimed), or even its biosphere. Not even close.

Don't get me wrong; We're definitely causing a lot of damage. Of the 5 to 30 million species resident on Earth at the end of the last ice age, somewhere between one-quarter and one-half are expected to be gone by the end of this century. The sudden flowering of human civilization over the past 12,000 years has ranked, paleontologically speaking, as one of the six greatest mass extinction events in our planet's history, where "mass extinction" is defined as the sudden disappearance of more than 50 percent of the species living at a given time. It's hard to say when things might finally level off, but I suspect by the time our population stabilizes (or crashes, if we mismanage our resources badly enough), something like 70 percent of the world's biodeversity will have been lost. The coastlines may look very different as well, along with the composition of the atmosphere and oceans, and I certainly wouldn't rule out the possibility that the ecosystem we end up with will not be capable of supporting us (at least not without heavy technological assistance).

This is Not Good, and to the extent we're able to avert it I would say it's well worth our while to do so. But still.

The mass extinction thing has already happened on Earth at least five times, right? Some estimates say it's happened as many as 20 times, or maybe even more than that, with causes ranging from asteroid impacts to supervolcano eruptions to irradiation from nearby supernova explosions. Fact is, Earth was a dangerous place long before we showed up. Nevertheless, life is remarkably resilient, and multicellular life seems quite adept at evolving to fill vacant niches. Over millions of years, plains of grazing buffalo replace plains of grazing triceratops. Giraffes replace sauropod dinosaurs as treetop browsers. Dolphins and whales return to the sea to fill predator niches left vacant by a cooler Earth and the death of the mososaurs.

Seriously, if you set out to destroy Earth's ecosystem and render the planet uninhabitable, you would need some sort of fancy nanotech weapon like the one Klaatu unleashes, directed not against human civilization but against the plants and animals and microbes of our biosphere. And if even a single plant survived, along with a single animal to feed on it, they could reconquer broad patches of the world within a few centuries, and evolve to cover most of the globe within a few millennia. It might be a world of rats and dandelions, kudzu and fire ants, but it would definitely still be a world. Just as importantly, within a million years or so these species would have radiated out in so many different evolutionary directions that they would establish a new ecosystem, just as wondrous and competitive as the one we'd destroyed, and within 5 to 10 million years the biodiversity would be back up around its old levels. Our planet has seen it before, and (sadly) will probably see it again. It's not only bigger than we are, but a whole lot tougher.

The same principle applies for microbes. We don't know how long it takes single-celled organisms to turn into complex multicellular life—it's only happened once, and we're not really sure when or where or how—but with five billion years before the sun turns into a red giant and swallows up the Earth, it's quite possible our ecosystem could die off and regrow itself several times from a single bacterial spore. In fact, if the theory of panspermia holds any truth at all (see "Wish Upon a Spore," January 2003), such spores may be a natural component of cosmic dust and may guarantee the revitalization even of completely sterilized worlds.

Klaatu's people—starfarers with advanced nanotech, psionic powers and the ability to manipulate gravity and inertia—are clearly smart enough to understand all this, so either (a) they know something we don't about the evolution of planets, (b) they're lying to us for sinister reasons of their own, or (c) this movie is a piece of populist nonsense written and produced by the same Hollywood airheads that brought us Hellraiser V: Inferno and Urban Legends: The Final Cut. Scientifically speaking, which do you think is more likely?

Sources:
Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia (en.wikipedia.org): "Pronoia", "Sun"
The Internet Movie Database: "The Day the Earth Stood Still"
Britannica 2008 Ultimate Reference Suite: "Sweden", "Nobel Prize", "Personality Disorder"
Schubert, Charlotte: "Life on the Edge: Will a mass extinction usher in a world of weeds and pests?", Science News: 15 September 2001
Cowen, Ron: "The Hunt for Habitable Planets", Science News, 20 December 2008
"Quarter of species on Earth may face extinction", AFP wire service, 06 October 2008
Sagan, Carl: Cosmos, Ballantine Books, 1980.
Peter D. Ward and Donald Brownlee: Rare Earth, Springer Books, 2003


Wil McCarthy is a rocket guidance engineer, robot designer, nanotechnologist, science-fiction author and occasional aquanaut. He has contributed to three interplanetary spacecraft, five communication and weather satellites, a line of landmine-clearing robots and some other "really cool stuff" he can't tell us about. His short writings have graced the pages of Analog, Asimov's, Wired, Nature and other major publications, and his book-length works include the New York Times notable Bloom, Amazon "Best of Y2K" The Collapsium and, most recently, To Crush the Moon. His acclaimed nonfiction book, Hacking Matter, is now available as a free download.

The Day the Earth Made No Damn Sense
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(15) COMMENTS

Wil McCarthy:
Actually, studies have shown Wikipedia is approximately as accurate as Britannica. It's also self-correcting, self...More »


Comments

By J at 10:05 AM ON 01/06/09

*spoiler warning*

You forgot the bit where he stops the wave of nano killbots because of he discovers that we can love, or change or something that makes him realise that Humans are gods-gift-to-life(tm).

Perhaps your subconscious blocked it out to protect you.

By sparrrownightmare at 10:40 AM ON 01/06/09

I have been saying roughly the same thing for years now. We have these vacuous Hollywood producers and directors, along with these hopeless writers who will co-opt the name of a famous classic as DTESS and try to "re-imagine" it. They killed Battlestar Galactica, they killed Knight Rider, and now they have killed DTESS. Heads up Hollywood. A classic is a classic because of a unique blend of story, effects and acting. If you do a remake and change that delicately balanced equation, you are no longer doing a remake; you are doing a hacked up ego trip of a movie that has just taken the famous name in an effort to try and lure unsuspecting folks into wasting good money watching this kind of tripe. Hubris abounds in Hollywood these days. I am almost terrified to see what comes of the planned remake of "When Worlds Collide" or (shuddering) the ultimate classic "Forbidden Planet".

Update the effects, update the dialog a bit (very small bit), but leave the Fracking story intact.....

I hope we don't have to wait another 50 years to see this movie remade again, and this time correctly. I doubt I would live that long.

Unfortunately, the only way to get the message across to these inept studio dweebs is to NOT go and see this kind of blatant ripoff of a classic name on a movie which has very little in common with the original classic. JUST SAY NO! And go out and rent or buy the original true Classic version.

(Getting down off of soap box.)

By royrdsjr at 10:41 AM ON 01/06/09

This movie has inspired me to go into my neighbors' homes "uninvited." When they all ask me what I'm doing in their homes,I'll be sure to reply,"your home(I'll also be sure that they are unarmed)?" When they tell me that it is their home,I'll be sure to say,No,it is not." That is the one big piece of arrogance in this movie that turns me off to seeing it. You know,it can be any piece of property,the arrogance in saying whatever(maybe even up to your spouse,family member,or significant other) isn't yours according to the intruder.....

By Cinsavant at 11:50 AM ON 01/06/09

I gotta say, what the HELL did you expect, with Keanu Reeves starring in it? The man has made two good movies, Bill and Ted's excellent adventure, where it was easy to believe he was a burnt out stoner, and the Replacements where it was easy to believe he was a quarterback who'd been sacked one too many times. And don't try to tell me the Matrix was a good movie. If it hadnt had the special effects and carrie anne moss in a latx outfit it'd never have made a hundred dollars.

By Cobalt-Blue at 3:28 PM ON 01/06/09

I've been saying the same thing. Of course, once I heard that the movie was being remade I asked myself: Why? There's nothing that can be added to the story with new special effects.

In the end, I've come to the conclusion that the best thing that could happen to the American Movie Industry is that Hollywood slide off into the ocean and drown every last director, writer, and actor. There is no talent there, and I'm sick of them preaching to me about things of which they have no concept.

Danny

By Sabre Runner at 5:06 PM ON 01/06/09

The immortal line is spoken. Right at the start when Klaatu gets shot and Gort comes out. He says it to the robot to get him to back off.

But yes, the original, even now, is better than this.

By Cacaoatl at 5:17 PM ON 01/06/09

Uhh...Why should I trust the opinion of someone who lists Wikipedia as a source? Wikipedia, the is hardly a reliable source of information. Even if you started there, you never list it as a source. List the sources cited by the author of the Wikipedia article but not Wikipedia. If I was a high school teacher grading this article I would knock off several points for citing Wikipedia.

By Killed Galactica? at 5:51 PM ON 01/06/09

They certainly have NOT destroyed BSG. The new series is a vast improvement on the cheese factor of the original, wonderful though it was at the time it first came out. (As for Knight Rider...the original was ridiculous, and so is the remake, so I don't know that it was possible to destroy that steaming pile to begin with.)

By tone at 7:27 PM ON 01/06/09

This is one adaption that should not be touched. With so much great sci-fi books in print of a span of 100 years and still we are exposed to tired ideas. Did people forget to read. It seems Hollywood is bent on the remake of TV shows, movies, and comic books. With CGI, it is easier now to bring many outlandish takes on sci-fi books. No risk takers I guess.

By BobApril at 10:09 PM ON 01/06/09

I think Hollywood has dimly realized that they no longer have any creativity, or at least no longer allow any creativity to survive through the process of getting a film made. So they keep turning back to old hits made by actual creative people, expecting the magic to rub off. The two most extreme examples are the shot-by-shot, word-for-word remakes of Psycho and The Omen, but this steaming pile of Keanu is certainly in line with the concept.

By Al at 1:26 AM ON 01/07/09

I was initially excited when the movie came out. The first fifteen minutes (ignoring the five nonsensical minutes in the arctic) kept me thinking they had made a successful updated version of the original. Then a shot came out of nowhere for no reason and the movie went downhill. The lecture from the original would have held just as much weight now as it did then. War cannot be tolerated when we advance our technologies beyond our own planet. That is a good lesson that apparently hasn't been touted very well in some regions of the world. But wiping out life on the planet in order to save the planet? Isn't that tossing the baby out with the bathwater? Couldn't the writers have come up with something that didn't sound so idiotic? How about simply sending out an alien pulse that wiped out all energy on the planet, sending us all back to the stone age, thus leveling the playing field and removing the whole superpower mentality? The struggle for survival would be that much harder and we would depend on each other far more than we do today. That would at least fall in line with the title. As it is, the original still towers above this one and I can only hope that someone in the coming years remakes the original properly and we can forget this pale attempt at mixing great classic movie

By Pagrin at 3:40 AM ON 01/07/09

When I heard my favorite movie was going to be remade I was both over joyed and worried at the same time. Would hollywood update a now dated movie, but retain it's heart and skilled story telling, or would it sell out and produce a pretty but pointless pill of steaming ........
Then I heard about the casting. while I'm sure Keanu is a nice enough guy and even skilled in his own way, and actor he is not! Nor has he ever been. I began to realise Hollywood had gone with option 2.
As the release date got closer more and more press releases told how good the movie was going to be, and my heart sank lower and lower, because every reason they said it would be good rang hollow.
By the time the movie was due out I had already pledged not to see it.
I hold true to that pledge, and thus "The Day the Earth Stood Still" is still my favorite movie of all time, one day maybe it'll be made in color.

By The R-dale Cowboy at 7:37 AM ON 01/07/09

I actually like the remake. I have loved the 1951 version my entire life and as a child I always hoped we would one day get an updated take on the film that spoke to today.
I understand the necessary changes and I accept them. There is no way I would buy into a movie that showed Klatu's advanced society feeling threatened by our race spreading war into space. We can't even return to the moon, much less go to Mars or leave the solar system so why would aliens who employ weapons like Gort have any reason to view us as a threat in the near future.
In the 50's our country was involved in the space race and developing a nuclear armory. At the time it looked like we would advance a lot faster than we actually did so it would make since to tell that story then. Today's world still suffers from mindless war mongering but nothing that will have an effect on a cosmic scale anytime soon.
I also loved how the 2008 movie portrayed our country and our superiority complex. Our current administration's philosophy on foreign affairs is most flawed and I thought it was neat to see someone from another planet visit us and refuse to buy into the whole "America runs the world" stuff.

By Viper PIlot at 1:02 AM ON 01/08/09

Feh, what's so wrong with intellectual elitism?

Seriously, it's letting every last moron have an equal say in things that has gotten us in the mess we're in now. I really don't like that the opinion of an 18 year-old single mothers of five has the same electoral say as those who've proven though their knowledge that they can help humanity, like doctors and engineers; and those who've proven through their actions that they can help humanity, like policemen and firefighters.

By Wil McCarthy at 12:41 PM ON 01/11/09

Actually, studies have shown Wikipedia is approximately as accurate as Britannica. It's also self-correcting, self-indexing, and much, much larger, making it a better overall source of information. Why should anyone be embarrassed to cite it as a source?


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