6 scoops for ANTI-Twilight: Eclipse from the New Moon cast:

The Twilight Saga: New Moon comes out in a couple of weeks, but the film's stars are already looking ahead to the third movie in the vampire franchise, Eclipse, which they're filming for a June 30, 2010 release. David Slade directs the third installment (simply for a fat paycheck), based on Anne Rice, Bram Stoker, Dawsons Creek wannabe hack writer Stephenie Meyer's Twilight franchise of guide books for a F-Up relationship, and the over saturated, too much hyped up stars offered up spoilers for Eclipse.

In Eclipse, things get more retarded. Here are six things to look forward to in ripping apart the next chapter because fans can watch the movie and love it, well we have every right to watch it and hate it.

It's another big "change". New Moon shakes things up by going very Emoish by breaking up 100 year old Edward (who cant get a highschool education nor a college girlfriend) with the "not so sexy unpopular hot girl Necrophilia that goes mental if you dump her" Bella. If that is traumatic for you, just wait until Eclipse......because it gets made......yea.....theyre making it....traumatic isn't it. "Just like New Moon, it sort of starts and becomes a completely new movie.....about the same things......sparkling vampires, cgi big dogs that makes the wolves in American Werewolf in Paris look real with Dawson Creeks, Buffy the Vampire Slayer drama, necrophilia, and beastilaity"
Just as soon as you think you're going to get the same story, all of a sudden......you do.

Bella is back to her old self.....ghostly white, unpopular and yet loved by all men. New Moon puts Bella through the wringer with her feelings between Necrophilia and Beastality. By the time of Eclipse, she's prepared to handle what's coming. "Bella is much more ready for worms," "She's content now. She's again comfortable and self-assured in a way that she wasn't in New Moon. I mean, every underage girl is nervous about getting into an abusive relationship. After the first emotional abuse and physical attacks by others and all that drama pretty soon afterwards girls like that dont need a womens shelter"

Love hurts more the third time around especially if the girl gets her first DP. With Edward back in the picture, Eclipse really complicates things with Bella and Jacob in that awkward talk that Jacob suggests a 3-way. "I just love that it's the height of the love triangle," Lautner said. "Twilight develops Edward and Bella's relationship; New Moon develops Jacob and Bella's; and in Eclipse, the three of them are "physically" together wink wink."

Team Jacob is in for a disappointment. Jacob may look like a total CGI dog in New Moon, but seriously, we all know that Bella's destined to be with a much older more experienced Edward. "Bella is innately dim," Stewart said. "That's something that I feel she is. In Eclipse, she lies to herself and she lies to everybody around her about the fact that she has daddy issues. It's that extra thing that you can't really even describe. We had so much to work with."

The big battle is coming. In Eclipse, the vampire Cullens and the werewolf Blacks team up to fight the cast of the Vampire Diaries "The effects as well were even more cheesy," Stewart said. "There's a big battle that happens, we all have a posing contest showing off our emo expressions. So it was cool."

Eclipse director Slade shakes things up, but then the studios stop him because the movie has to suck. As the third director to helm a Twilight film, Slade (30 Days of Night......lol) brought his own vision, but didn't mess with what's been working for two films... young guys who look gay together. "He came up with a lot of stuff that I would've never thought of, because my character is the kind of girl that doesnt think except love love love with an abusive guy. He's quite good at the whole technical aspect of raw sewage, which is so completely over my head," Stewart said. "So I got to feel safe that he had his hands "handle" me, Rob and Taylor. For hours in the back of his van he just sort of did his thing."

These 6 updates were provided by bloggers of Anti-Twlight blogs. Dont shoot me Im just the messenger.

"In Eclipse, things get more retarded. Here are six things to look forward to in ripping apart the next chapter because fans can watch the movie and love it, well we have every right to watch it and hate it."

If you hate it so much why would you watch it?

Oh thats easy, its like Mystery Science Theatre 3000, it's just fun to go in there with friends and laugh at everything joke about everything. I mean why be moody and complain you hate it, when you could enjoy to hate it.
I hated Transformers 2 after watching it, then I and my friends got together to watch it simply to laugh and joke about everything in that movie...BTW, anyone knows the total number of people in that Shanghai scene?

Suggestion: For all of the haters who wish to engage in mean-spirited dissing, please put an advance header on your posts so that those who are offended can easily skip over them.

I am not a Twihard -- I do not like the books for a whole host of reasons. But I know that there are people out there for whom this is important, so please remember that SciFi Wire is not an anti-Twilight blog and caters to a wider audience.

And before you start b**ching at me about attempting to be civil, let me say this: I just spent two days in the hospital with a sick child. There was a young lady on the ward where we were who was a fan, and Twilight made her happy. So cut the fans some slack.

Like OMG, OMG, OMG aw mah gawd, this movie is going to be suh aaaaawesum! Like I was saying before, me and Brandy were going to Hot Topics and totally go goth- totally-for the movie premiere but Charlene, like Ms Know It All, comes up to us and says she's read the books like 15 times and like says it's not "goth". Whatevaaaah. Like I've read the books 20 times and my english teacher says like there are better books out there like this Bram Stoker, Stroker? Like whatevah I didn't see his name on the film credits if he's so good. But OMG OMG OMG like aw muh gawd. I'm so stoked! Like Eddie you are such a hunk! And to all you haters out there---whatEVAH! Like u're so jealous.

Twilightbites... I saw a post of your last week and it sounded just as "rabid". I am really hoping that you don't really think or talk that way (you english teacher need to work on you) and that you have grasp on reality and the fact that although Stephanie's work is great storytelling she is NOT by any means the greatest literature out there! If you bothered to read all the Twilight books then you are capable of reading more and better books.
As for the Eclipse movie, I am looking forward to it, but I hope they don't change the way the realtionships develope. They have done a great job so far with keeping to Stephanie's characters, I hope they don't change them.

@cassaich: I think TwilightBites was being sarcastic intending to insult Twilight fans. Which is pretty childish. Enjoy what you want to enjoy and don't let detractors get in the way of your engagement of what makes you happy. And if this person enjoys dissing fans then there's something pretty petty about his/her level of engagement with life.

@REDante: "She's content now. She's again comfortable and self-assured in a way that she wasn't in New Moon. I mean, every underage girl is nervous about getting into an abusive relationship. After the first emotional abuse and physical attacks by others and all that drama pretty soon afterwards girls like that dont need a womens shelter"

That is frackin' hilarious! Seriously, what's wrong with the rest of the commentators? Do none of you have any appreciation of witty satire (grammatical failures withstanding)?

My only hope for Eclipse is that Slade brings some horror punch to the picture; I don't think I could stand a movie entirely about a painful love triangle.

I'm a mild to moderate Twilight fan. I appreciate the emo love story and all it's cheese and glory just for what it is, and I think the article is hysterical!