What`s the experiment here ?

....If a Monkey bangs Cymbals in space.....
Will E.T. hear ?

I cannot wait for the documentary...

"Blast Off For Bonzo"

Given that primates are social animals, I can't see a monkey stuck in a tin can with a robot being close to sane by the end of the journey. I'm also curious as to the point of all this. By the time humanity needs to leave this planet, there will be no more resources for interplanetary migration.

Eventhough I'm not as radical as PETA, the following quote comes to mind when I hear news like this:

"We have enslaved the rest of the animal creation, and have treated our distant cousins in fur and feathers so badly that beyond doubt, if they were able to formulate a religion, they would depict the Devil in human form." -William Ralph Inge

Apparently, from the tone of the article, the reason for this little journey is to gauge the effects of long term space flight. Exposure to cosmic rays, long term confinement, etc.

"... the reason for this little journey is to gauge the effects of long term space flight. Exposure to cosmic rays..."

If that monkey comes back with Super Powers and threatens the entire planet, somewhere...Stan Lee will be laughing his ass off.

Sounds like Bubbles hopped out of the frying pan and into the fire.

@PALADIN

That monkey will come back with super powers as a result of cosmic rays, and a warped mind bent on world domination as a result of the long term isolation. He could be the Spider-Man 4 villian.

RE: "That monkey will come back with super powers as a result of cosmic rays, and a warped mind bent on world domination as a result of the long term isolation."

---Let`s consider the bright side...

Mayhap he will develop a Super Intellect, and upon his return, defect to the U.S. where he will pen a tell-all expose` book on the Russian Space Program, ink a movie deal, become the darling of the Animal Rights groups and hit the lecture circuit , but be wise enough to quit before burning out on the free & easy bananas & babes. Then, after some smart investing of his royalty money, he could retire from public life to spend his remaining years supporting Public Television.

PBS.... Primate Broadcasting System.

The mentally unhinged Russkies AGAIN? Did they learn nothing from watching Tim Burton's remake of Planet Of The Apes???

We lived in a different time when they sent Laika (the dog) into space, but we're supposed to live in a more enlightened society now. I'm not entirely sure what the Russians are hoping to prove by doing this...other than proving what animal-torturing sociopaths they are. I hope they are globally condemned for this and PETA can start by smearing the Kremlin in human blood.

That robot is going to assimilate that monkey on the long journey. It will add the monkeys biological and cultural uniqueness to its own. Resistance is futile...

I would gladly pay to be in space with a monkey alone for 500 days. Me, my monkey and some Barry White CD's...

Russian science is such crap. They've done a great job of extracting money for nothing from the US and flying resupply to MIR and the ISS, but Russian research is garbage.

@PALADIN

But along the way he marries a PETA spokesperson, eventually gets caught in numerous illicit affairs, PBS ends it's association with him, and he slips into former astronaut obscurity. Later, however, he returns as a daredevil test pilot for an X-Prize contestant startup looking to break into the new space tourism industry.

Anybody else notice the difference between how smart I "think" i am vs. how smart I "really" am??
You'd need a monkey in a space ship to travel that gap.

Its not really a monkey, its an alien from the giant Pyramid ufo that was over the Kremlin.

RE:( WANNABE)PALADIN :
"I would gladly pay to be in space with a monkey alone for 500 days. Me, my monkey and some Barry White CD's...

Anybody else notice the difference between how smart I "think" i am vs. how smart I "really" am??
You'd need a monkey in a space ship to travel that gap."

----One thing that will quickly denote the difference between us SPARKY, is that you are A Coward, while I am not.

If you`ve got a problem, try to man up and BE YOURSELF if you want to make an attack.

Exploiting the limitations of this board by posting in as me is just LAME....

Altho if the above is the ebst you have to offer, I can see why you would rather hide.

Only thing I have to say to this is when are people going to learn that monkeys are NOT apes?

They are sending an APE to space, not a monkey.

To mars rather.

Sorry if I sound cranky, my monkey isn't putting out.

RE: (WANNABE)PALADIN :
"Sorry if I sound cranky, my monkey isn't putting out."

---High-probability, it`s just got standards, Sparky.
Guess you`ll have to go back to doing nasty things with a BANANA,.

Try again...Maybe you`ll get sound witty... instead of merely pathetic.

You know, you guys on this board are really mean. You don't know what it's like, sitting here in my parent's basement, reading the mean things that you guys are saying to me. One of these days I'll get a girlfriend and then you guys won't have old paladin to kick around anymore!

RE: (WANNABE)PALADIN :
"I would gladly pay to be in space with a monkey alone for 500 days. Me, my monkey and some Barry White CD's... Anybody else notice the difference between how smart I "think" i am vs. how smart I "really" am?? You'd need a monkey in a space ship to travel that gap. Sorry if I sound cranky, my monkey isn't putting out.... You know, you guys on this board are really mean. You don't know what it's like, sitting here in my parent's basement, reading the mean things that you guys are saying to me. One of these days I'll get a girlfriend and then you guys won't have old paladin to kick around anymore!."

--( Sigh ) ... Sparky....Since it`s obvious that you`re stuck in a loop here, and aren`t likely to get out of it due to a notable lack of intelligence / creativity ; allow me to give you a few pointers:

1) If you want to continue posting as me, try to imagine yourself as being very bored. That will set you in the mood I am in while reading your posts. B-O-R-E-D. Look in a mirror for inspiration.

2) Try to expand your vocabulary to better simulate mine. Hey, you may as well improve yourself , right ?

3) Since you have no identity of your own, you may soon find your Ego beginning to fragment . The illusion that you are being 'clever' or 'funny' will begin to go sour. You must endeavor to persevere.

Finally; don`t let it bother you that, while you have to make up crap to throw at me, all I have to do to make you The Fool is quote you.
There really is not much I can do about that.

Why would "People Eating Tasty Animals" have a problem with this?

Does anyone else here wonder why others are pretending to be me? Because everyone wants to be me. With my vast intellect, my rugged good looks, and my little red wick, it is good Paladin. Now if you will excuse me, I need to go swat my fly.

It really is silly that anyone can post as anyone here. I thought the email address you have to include was a unique identifier for your handle, but I see that was wishful thinking.

Wait just a minute....space rayed bar-b-qued monkey meat - yum, yum. Barry White, some nachos and cheese, a jar of vaseline and I'm good to go.

@ Carpe,

Now you see why I want to go off into space, just me and my monkey.

Actually this is a fantastic idea - it will let us know exactly what the hazards are of deep space flight, what effects it was on a very similar biology, these are questions that if answered will allow us to venture into space MUCH sooner and with a hell of a lot more confidence - after all, if a caveman (errr)- monkey can do it......

RE: (WANNABE)PALADIN :
"I would gladly pay to be in space with a monkey alone for 500 days. Me, my monkey and some Barry White CD's... Anybody else notice the difference between how smart I "think" i am vs. how smart I "really" am?? You'd need a monkey in a space ship to travel that gap. Sorry if I sound cranky, my monkey isn't putting out.... You know, you guys on this board are really mean. You don't know what it's like, sitting here in my parent's basement, reading the mean things that you guys are saying to me. One of these days I'll get a girlfriend and then you guys won't have old paladin to kick around anymore Does anyone else here wonder why others are pretending to be me? Because everyone wants to be me. With my vast intellect, my rugged good looks, and my little red wick, it is good Paladin. Now if you will excuse me, I need to go swat my fly Wait just a minute....space rayed bar-b-qued monkey meat - yum, yum. Barry White, some nachos and cheese, a jar of vaseline and I'm good to go."

---- Y`know Sparky, this fixation you have with me is one thing..I`m not here for you to like me.....
.But the direction that your mind takes is more revealing about you than any slam you can direct at me. You started this over THREE HOURS AGO, and yet not only have you not gotten tired of such a simple-minded ploy, you have remained mired deep in every worn-out cliche` little kiddie insult that ever went `round the playground.

I know that you are still giggling like a little girl over your own ' wit' , and you can go right ahead and keep it up as long as you`re amused.... but you really are starting to sound pretty SAD.

Well, you now have a figurative 'pat on the head' from me.

RE: By Carpe ....

"It really is silly that anyone can post as anyone here. I thought the email address you have to include was a unique identifier for your handle, but I see that was wishful thinking."

----- The really pathetic aspect is that THIS is all he`s capable of in the way of wit.

At first I thought it was merely a cowardly way to attack someone, but as the posts continued, it became apparent that this is someone who just doesn`t have a lot going for them between the ears. The lack of maturity in the nature of the insults is obvious.

This is the reason why some children definitely require adult supervision online...and why some adults should never have children.

RE: PALADIN

Ever thiink that there may be more than one person yanking your chain? Just saying...

All right, I'll admit it; I have been pretending to impersonate myself and then getting mad at myself for over three hours now. It's lonely in my parent's basement, and I'm all out of lotion. I know what you are thinking; PALADIN, why don't you go find some friends? Don't you think that I've tried? People just don't seem to like me.

RE: By oldman ....

"Ever thiink that there may be more than one person yanking your chain? "

---Who cares? I wasn`t aware that my chain had been 'yanked'.
As far as witty repartee` goes, this does not make my definition of 'yanking someone`s chain'.
Posting under my username and being crude is pretty lame stuff. If the perp is getting his jollies this way, he`s got worse problems than I do simply posting a response.

I`ve been out splitting firewood off-n-on today. It`s cold, it`s damp, and the warm-up time inside at the pc is a nice break for me. ( A Sam Adams Winter Lager makes the break time particularly enjoyable)

When I`m done. I`ll have a good Cord of wood.

When he gets tired of posting cowardly, juvenile insults; he will still be a coward.

Highlight of My Day: Getting Fire Wood Split.

Highlight of His Day: Making an ASS of himself.

Works for me.

And now that I am all warmed up, I'm going to go back outside and finish playing with my wood.

RE: By ( WANNABE)PALADIN .... "And now that I am all warmed up, I'm going to go back outside and finish playing with my wood."

---Oh, Sparky...

I WOOD KNOT say that one even went against my GRAIN, much less CUT me.
Was your attention SPLINTERED? Are you up a TREE? Couldn`t you BRANCH out to other insults.. Have you taken LEAF of your senses ?
( okay...sorry about that last one)

Anyway, it`s getting dark ( I`m East Coast) and I`m done for the day. You provided a nice diversion, altho I do regret that you did so here, in this topic. I had posts in both the 'Sherlock Holmes' topics that you could have ambushed with no great loss...But we had been having some fun 'monkeying around' with the subject here...until you started trying to APE me. :)

Ah well..... I`m going to get a fire laid...which, I`ll wager, is more than you can get laid tonight.
Then I am going to await my wife`s return and watch some Christmas movies.
Maybe I`ll tell her over dinner about the bizarre ways some people spend their time online.
Despite everything...

You have A Merry Christmas.

Goodnight TiminPhx, ...Whomever you are !

Funny, when I first read the headline” Russians plan to send robot-assisted monkey to Mars” I thought this was another article about Harlan Ellison.

And in case anyone has not been following my posts, I am a big, burly man who chops wood and drinks beer. I certainly do not live in my parent's basement, and since I mentioned a wife I clearly do not need a monkey or lotion. I am smart, and funny, and even though I appear to be defending myself too much, no one has pulled my chain and no one has gotten under my skin. I am PALADIN. The only PALADIN. Suck it.

The Russians should consider sending SyFi Wire commenters... PETA would have less of a problem, but the robot would have more work.

GEEZ ! give it a rest ! i`ve read all this crap and it`s easy to tell your posts from his ! you stuck yourself with trying to post as him but he can post direct about you it`s no contest . i don`t know what your problem is with him but i`m getting really sick of you. he`s right you are acoward.
can`t you get on with something else--like a LIFE?

I'm sorry PALADIN - I should never have said thse awful things. I, too, ran out of lotion. . .and my wife won't let me use her hair gel anymore. . .

Yo, SICKO....

So this is your go to way of posting...
Copy-cat the name of anyone you don`t like?

I read the posts here and the first few between Paladin and Carpe were fun .

Then you started posting with that childish attitude.

Well, I don`t like it either, but I`m not as patient as some. Go on and post in as me and I`ll do what Paladin should have --report you to the admins of the board.

Then you can pull that BS on them and see how far it goes.

Wow...I pop in to see what goes and Sparky is STILL at it !

But here I thought that I was the 'special' one that had Fill-In-The-Blanks ` attention.

My advice: Just let him babble. Respond if you have nothing better to do, but don`t expect him to leave it alone,
It`s become 'His Thing' now.

Y`all know the type....

No matter how many times you flush, they just cling to the side of the bowl.

By the way, paladin, can I borrow your monkey when you are done?

Of course, pitch, my monkey is your monkey.

Oh no! Not again! This is what happened to the insane monkey in 28 days later! Now, what happened in that movie....

=P

wow,

things must be looking up for the Russians. I didn't think they could afford apes. In Russia, people are much, much, cheaper and more abundant.

Oh,

I forgot to mention dear Mr. Paladin that Pyscho Dad is coming here to set things straight. Oh yes, I said it... Pyscho Dad!!!